Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
