Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
