I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize