i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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