Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You've changed since you got that strap on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
