he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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