...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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