My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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