I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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