Jerry, you need to find god
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Let's get the cat blown out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
