So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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