As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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