you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
