So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
