Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can you repeat that, but with context?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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