am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
