honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
