I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
