Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
