drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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