i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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