She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
