Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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