I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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