the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
