oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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