I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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