there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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