Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
