dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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