i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
