Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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