i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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