i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize