Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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