i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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