Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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