she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
