wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
