Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
