Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
