You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
