Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize