we have officially lost it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
