just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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