Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
