this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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