Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
