accomplished twins. life is a go
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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