who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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