Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
