If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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