Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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