Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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