You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
