I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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