No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
