well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize